Back from a mini-adventure to Zimbabwe which involved many hours in a car I thought it was important to make a Top Ten 10 comment on the extremely important issue of urinating in the wild.
1) Avoid as much as is humanly possible while remembering that holding it in can lead to bladder infection.
2) Hold out till the last possible moment, even the most nervous bladder can't beat the call of nature after 6 hours, 4 cups of coffee, 5 bottles of water and 3 cokes.
3) Best to avoid drinking that much in so short a time in your normal life but particularly on long car journeys.
4) Take loo paper with you, it's bio degradable and I'm just not sure I know enough about plant life to be sure I wouldn't pick something poisonous and that would not be pleasant, to say the least. We have enough to worry about without finding a camp doctor to identify and treat stinging nettle rash on the no-no place. Is there even stinging nettle in Southern Africa....? You see what I mean about plant life knowledge.
5) Spread your feet as wide as possible.
6) When choosing a spot make sure that you're well out of eye-shot.
7) And that you've surveyed the area thoroughly - I'd say that snake/spider bite in the no-no place is worse than stinging nettle.
8) Chose a spot with something sturdy to balance against - there isn't enough toilet paper in the world to hide your shame if you inadvertantly tumble into your own puddle. You aren't the first, and won't be the last.
9) Trajectory is key - this will depend entirely on your height, the suppleness of your knees and the sturdiness of the object you have found to lean against.
10) Buy a SheeWee - peeing standing up is no longer only a man's game. Thank heavens for bits of plastic that mirror the male anatomical form...
No comments:
Post a Comment